Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
