wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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