I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
