i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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