i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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