Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
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omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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