Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
you had me at cake vodka
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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