Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
