Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize