I heard we made out
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
