Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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