big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
