just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize