She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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