Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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