your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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