ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize