i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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