Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
