you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
