I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
