Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
