So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
