I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
