He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
