Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
