I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
