Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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