We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
