BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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