guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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