My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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