He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
