i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
