I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Who died my cat blue again?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
