Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
