that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
