I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
