if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
