I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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