New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
