Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
foreskin is a definite game changer
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
