I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
