nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
