the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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