I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
