5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
