Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
