How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
