i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
