Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
