This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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