Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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