did you get engaged???
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
