chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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