Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
is it fun? or sober?
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