it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
