i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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