Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
